So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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