now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
