dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
