You were right. It hurts to walk today.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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