Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Randomize
