32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
