is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
