I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
high people should be assigned attendants
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
