just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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