I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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