Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
