if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
