i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
