You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
