My nipple is on Facebook.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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