we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
