Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Randomize
