Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
