im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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