no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
