woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize