My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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