But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
