I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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