Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I haven't been this sober since birth.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
