I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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