I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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