The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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