Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize