he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Redeem this text for a blowjob
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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