its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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