just come out here and I will go home with you...
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I need a beard to bite.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
