I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
