No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
