Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
