quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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