Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
