Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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