you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
