you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
