Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
