You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
