i need an iv and a liver transplant
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
