Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
