She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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