I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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