I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
It's blow job season.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
