I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Non-Jews are for practice
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Randomize