I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Randomize
