My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
And then my night got REAL pukey
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
