i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
