why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
He shit in the fireplace
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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