Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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