you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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