you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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